Many years ago I relinquished a beautiful young baby girl that weighed 8lbs and 13 ounces,and she was gorgeous. This was the year of Aug. 1981. I was going through a divorce and in a lot of pain, I was mentally and financially ruined. I made a big sacrifice, the sacrifice was to give my "Precious" as I called her a family, with both a mother and father as I had had, with siblings and a good healthy start. I wanted the very best for her. She deserved the best!
She got the best tooooooooo! I found out almost 19 years later. After she and I find each other through Adoption.com. Happiest day of my LIFE, besides the day she was born, and put into my arms. :)
Alot of people are quick to judge us birthmothers. But I can tell you we NEVER forget our children ever. We are bonded by blood for ever and ever. We birthmothers are Angels Bringers of Life. A birthmother only places her son/or daughter out great sacrifice, and much courage. For she puts the welfare of her child before her self.
There is a reason for everything in life. There was a reason that Brandy was to be conceived through me to be given unto her A-parents. I was the vehicle to give them the child they could not conceive. I provided the GIFT. With God's help. So Birthmothers are very Special Angels Indeed.
After my reunion with Brandy, I struggled with depression and all I missed out on. All the years of separation came riddling through my body. But, my goodness what a MIRACLE I did receive that I did get to hold her once again in my arms 19 years later. God granted me that honor. He also blessed me with the fact that she was not angry at my decision to relenquish. For she has had a Wonderful Life! Isn't that what it's all about? For this I give all Glory to God!
Lucy and Brandy Reunited 7/5/2000
Thanks to Adoption.Com and God Almighty!
How did I find "Precious"? Well, it was a closed adoption. So who can I thank the most for helping me to find her. "Precious" (Brandy) for posting on the internet at Adoption.com to find me, and God Almighty, that's who! King of Kings Lord of Lords that's who! See, I had been searching online since 1997. When, 2000 came I really started searching much more intensely. For now "Precious" was 18, of legal age to be found.
I had a lot of anxiety and tension inside of me. For diligently I would seek to find her, I didn't have much skill at this. But, I did know how to use the internet, I did know how to pray, I knew the driving force behind finding her, It was she and God. I felt it inside that she was also longing inside to find me.
So here I was sitting at the computer, Memorial Day weekend. A couple of weeks following Mother's Day. Which was always hard for me. I was sitting there and I said, Jesus. Help me find her. Please Lord, I have waited so long. Help me. Please. So I went to Tina's Place online, then something had me click on Adoption.com. Then there was an adoption reunion registery their. So I clicked on it and I put in her birthdate. Praying, that her birthdate was not changed on birth certificate. As sometimes they are. I push enter, and wait patiently for results. One name surfaces, Brandy Nicole Barrentine. I knew I had given her the middle name Nicole. I knew that the adoption agency had stated that her a-parents had given her that name also. As, I scanned down the info list. It was verbatim to verbatim that this indeed was my daughter!!!!! Okay, trembling inside with every emotion, it's a wonder I didn't explode like a volcano, sitting right there before the screen. I screamed out, THANK YOU LORD, THANK YOU! Hot tears flowing down my face. I found her, like finding a needle in a haystack. This was NO accident. This was truly divine intervention. God knows how to heal a weary broken heart. He knows everything, for the Good Book the bible teaches this through his prophets. So, sitting alone that day, Home alone that very day. I didn't feel alone. I knew, I knew He my father above, had sent down a anchor of love to pull me up and closer unto him. He is my rock and salvation, though my life on this earth has been painful, he promises me eternal life. Much more then this world could ever offer unto me. I seek him daily and I watch his daily mysterious ways unfold in my life and others that seek him only in there hearts.
So, now it really gets interesting. I have the information. But, only a name. I also have to wait for the holiday weekend to be over to contact Adoption.com. What a wait this is. How I made it, I don't know. Oh, yes I do. God carried me. He and I were in constant communication! Praying and Praying and receiving his divine patience is how. His loving protection over my emotions was how!
When my husband come home from work that night. He walked in and as usual said how was your day? I know he read my face. He could see that I was different. I said, I found her! I found her J.d. He said, I never doubted you wouldn't. We embraced and tears flowed from us both. You would have thought he was her biological father. In a sense I see him as that, for he stood by me. When her father wouldn't. But, that is all water under the bridge. God, knew that this would unfold just as it did. Just as it has.
So, here I am on pins and needles by the grace of God making it through to my chance to call Adoption.com on Tuesday following the Memorial Day weekend. I did just that that morn. I talked to a girl named Pam. She was very helpful. She said, now this might take sometime but I will research and see if I have a phone number in her file for you to call. Well, this was at 8:00 a.m. and by 4:00 p.m. that eve I had a phone number. Woooooooo weeeeeeeeee. God is goooooood! I asked Pam, where is this number's area code. She didn't know. But, I researched it and it was in Delaware. Delaware, I thought. Wow, my southernbelle has gone northern on me. I couldn't wait to call it. But, I needed support. So I waited till J.D. came home before attempting to make that BIG CALL! The most longing call I had waited for my entire life!!!! So about 7:00 pm that night shaking and scared. I picked up the phone and dialed it. A young girl, that sounded really little answered. I said Hello, is Brandy there. She said, NO. Brandy doesn't live here. I was shattered, I thought my only chance is dissolving now, I began praying again!!! Then I said can I speak to your mother. She said, yeah, and yelled out MOM. A lady answered and said, Hello. I said, Hi, I am Lucy and I am looking for Brandy. I am her birthmother. This lady said, We've been looking for you. I was trembling. She said, I am Kathy Brandy dates my son. She lives down the street. Relief, is now coming inside me. I begin to tell her so much, and she says well let me run down to her house and get her. She will call you back shortly. No longer then 20 minutes past. The phone rings, and this tiny northern voice. Says, Hello, I am Brandy. She was full of questions. She was temid, but receiving. I am sure she thought this was a hoax. It was surreal yet unreal. But, as we talked it was dynamic and I began to cry and my strong young daughter said don't cry in her tiny voice, this is a good thing. That was just the beginning of day after day of talking. The beginning of and emotional roller coaster ride for me. See, even though I found her. God wasn't through we me. He had to help me feel all that I shut down feeling. He knew that was the ONLY way to heal me. God almighty knows everything about us. If we allow him to come into our hearts and receive his laws and guidance he will move in you like the force of light that he is. Cleansing my ever soul of all decay and brokenness. Giving me new light of hope and a future promised of salvation, Gracing me with the knowledge that I was a Angel bringer of Life unto my only daughter. That I called
All birthmothers are chosen Angel bringers of life, the vehicle to carry Gifts of life for the Adoptive parents.
See God knows everything, and my prayer is that Birthmothers will see that they are honored and chosen to be a life giver! Painful, yes. Do you ever forget, NO! Do you get through it. Yes! If you claim it, don't deny it. Seek Christian counsel before and after would be wise.
Copyright protected By Lucy M. Straughn Franklin